The opposite of ego isn’t silence

Last week, sitting with our brilliant new friends at Fever PR, we were talking about how I could build a louder personal brand.

Then I heard myself say: “I just don’t want people to think I’m egotistical.”

The second it left my mouth, I wanted to grab it and shove it back in. Because there it was: a stupid little case of imposter syndrome.

It’s a reflex I suspect plenty of women will have experienced in their lifetimes. Because, let me be honest, there is something faintly horrifying about deciding the internet needs more of your thoughts.

And personal branding can become self-important wank remarkably quickly. We’ve all seen people post about “leadership” when the real message is… “Please notice me and the fact that I am a leader that has my shit together”.  I am also personally guilty of this in the past so don’t come at me. But also, who really has their shit together?

But, in all seriousness…I do think there is a line.

During these conversations, I also caught myself doing something I suspect a lot of smart people do. Shrinking.

Softening what I wanted to say, questioning whether I had earned the right to say it. Wondering whether putting myself forward meant I had started enjoying the sound of my own voice a little too much.

Then I gave myself another little slap and remembered the bigger picture.

I recently became a shareholder in my agency. I now have my own money, reputation and a significant portion of my waking hours invested in building this business. Developing my personal brand isn’t separate from building Audience Group’s brand. It is one of the ways I can contribute to it. 

Because people buy people. Clients aren’t buying a media plan from us. They’re buying the people who will interrogate their problem, challenge the obvious answer, make hundreds of judgement calls and sit beside them when the outcome is good and or bad. 

If we want the industry to understand the kind of agency we are, they need to see how the people inside it think. 

An agency can bullshit its way into a pitch. It can’t bullshit its way into trust. If the client can’t imagine wanting those people in the room when things get hard, the promise is irrelevant. So, if those people remain invisible, how the hell is the market supposed to know? 

"You can’t bullshit your way into trust."

Silence doesn’t necessarily signal humility. I think the distinction between ego and confidence comes down to the value exchange.

Ego assumes people should listen because I am important. Confidence says: I have something that might be useful, so I’m prepared to put it forward and let people judge it.

So with everything I write, I’ve given myself some governing guidelines:

If you removed my name and photo, would the thought still be worth something?

If the answer is yes, publish it.

If the entire post exists to remind people how impressive I am, perhaps leave that one sitting in drafts.

Putting yourself forward always carries the risk that someone will think you love yourself and I know that not everyone is going to like me and what I write either. 

But making yourself smaller carries another risk: the people who could benefit from your thinking never encounter it. The business you’re helping build remains less understood. And louder people with considerably less to say will happily fill the space.

So yes, I’m going to use my voice more.

Not because I think I am the brand. Because I now own part of it and I have a responsibility to help people understand what they’re buying.

The opposite of ego isn’t silence. It’s usefulness.